Day 8: Kids Are Not Little Adults

Updated: May 1, 2020

Tip #8:

Trust the process.

In these trying times, we might need our little people to act like little adults. If only they could appreciate the value of quiet time, rise to the challenges set before them with creative solutions and good manners, and treat their siblings with loving kindness. Yeah, well, it's good to dream.

Kids under 10 y/o experience these challenges personally, i.e. "Why is this happening to me?" These thoughts don't occur because our kids are egotistical or selfish but instead because their cognitive default is self-referential. Tweens and teens are struggling with doing the right thing alongside doing their own thing and therein lies the motivation to resist, delay, or all out avoid the tasks before them. Their common developmental goals are differentiation and independence but these require seeing the self as separate from the world around them (the under 10's) and then striking out on their own path (tweens+).

Just because we're living through this pandemic, the developmental process doesn't stop. And we wouldn't want it too. If anything, we'd really like it to speed up! At the risk of sounding therapy'ish, we have an opportunity in this moment to all evolve and come out of this time knowing more about ourselves, having more confidence in our capabilities, more awareness of our ingenuity, and more respect for our fellow earthlings. But we have to take it one day at a time.

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